T had a rugged ugly face and hard rock body. He was given an addressee in a seedy neighborhood where he would go up to the third floor of a decadent building. The visit should be between 10 and 11 a.m. on certain days of the week. He was told by a friend to be careful and keep it quiet. A fiftyish woman would open the door and take him in silence inside the apartment where they could have sex. The woman was a widow with grown up son and daughter who should be in their universities at the time.
T did as he was instructed. He found the widow, who was wearing a pajama, more unattractive than he thought. She took him by hand to the hallway and started to pull her pants down. When he asked her if they could do it in bed, she coldly replied that if they went to the bedroom, they had to close the windows' shutters and that would attract the attention of her nosy neighbours.
It took around 10 minutes. He felt pain in his knees because they were standing up and she was shorter than him.
That was it? I asked.
T answered me: No, the only words she uttered in a soulless voice after we finished and while I was adjusting myself: Care to eat something, son? I said no and hurried my way down to the street.
30 January 2010
24 January 2010
Yesterday's dream
Epidemic was spreading in the city and the authority tried to control the traffic and the movement of people. I was in my home/family home when I had a sudden desire to visit my sister who lived on the other side of the city. Doors and windows were sealed from inside with a big X shaped sellotape by the government as part of the procedures taken against the epidemic, but finally I found a way out to the street.
Streets were chaotic and many roads were closed. I had to take the accessible open roads although they were far from my sister's home. I felt like being taken away from where I should go. I reached narrow alleys in an old and popular neighborhood. I asked a shop owner standing in front of his shop about the direction to AL Street. He pointed at a different direction saying that that was the only open way.
I arrived at a big area looked like a railway station. It was divided into two sections. One of them was fully blocked by women wearing black from head to toe. They also carryied big black sheets (like flags). The other division was blocked by military soldiers in their khaki/brownish uniforms.
Suddenly I wondered what if, after all the trouble I went through, I did not find my sister at her home. What if she has already left to come to stay with us at our house? A wave of panic took me over at the idea of being alone and helpless in my sister's home. A nostalgic and desperate feeling emerged and I longed to go back home. My home, my family home. Nothing else really mattered more than going back home.
Streets were chaotic and many roads were closed. I had to take the accessible open roads although they were far from my sister's home. I felt like being taken away from where I should go. I reached narrow alleys in an old and popular neighborhood. I asked a shop owner standing in front of his shop about the direction to AL Street. He pointed at a different direction saying that that was the only open way.
I arrived at a big area looked like a railway station. It was divided into two sections. One of them was fully blocked by women wearing black from head to toe. They also carryied big black sheets (like flags). The other division was blocked by military soldiers in their khaki/brownish uniforms.
Suddenly I wondered what if, after all the trouble I went through, I did not find my sister at her home. What if she has already left to come to stay with us at our house? A wave of panic took me over at the idea of being alone and helpless in my sister's home. A nostalgic and desperate feeling emerged and I longed to go back home. My home, my family home. Nothing else really mattered more than going back home.
06 January 2010
Two dreams
* It was in Paris busy streets. I wore a t-shirt and shorts but everybody wore heavy winter clothes. It was windy and I was afraid of catching cold. I heard my name mentioned and turned around to find an old friend of mine with a fortyish lady (tall and big). He introduced her to me and asked us to talk business. I was distracted because I noticed a pile of coats thrown in the street. I left my friend and the lady and hurried to search the pile. I found 3 lost pieces of my clothes (old green raincoat, denim and gray sweater). They were clean and wrinkled like they have been just washed. I first doubted that the sweater belonged to me, but when I found an old mark on it, I realized it was mine. I went back to my friend and the lady holding the 3 pieces, but by then I felt really disinterested about them.
* I came back home and just before opening the door, I noticed someone trying to break in from the kitchen window. He saw me and started to run away in the garden. The garden had a big banana tree. It was easy to catch him before he tried to jump over the fence. It was as if he did not bother to resist. It seemed that he had an accomplice waiting somewhere. The accomplice ran away. I started to feel a bit compassionate because the guy looked young with an innocent face. I handed him over to the cops though and they took him away in a bus. After their departure, I had ambiguous mixed feelings of remorse, compassion and dsappointment.
* I came back home and just before opening the door, I noticed someone trying to break in from the kitchen window. He saw me and started to run away in the garden. The garden had a big banana tree. It was easy to catch him before he tried to jump over the fence. It was as if he did not bother to resist. It seemed that he had an accomplice waiting somewhere. The accomplice ran away. I started to feel a bit compassionate because the guy looked young with an innocent face. I handed him over to the cops though and they took him away in a bus. After their departure, I had ambiguous mixed feelings of remorse, compassion and dsappointment.
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