"Miles of wild despair lay between you and the place you want to be". Said the wise old man staring at me. I wondered "Should I give up?"."Not necessarily, but mind you it all depends on how eager you are to be there". "I am very eager" I assured him. "Then you should not stop. Try, but I guarantee you nothing".
He gazed again in my cup of Turkish coffee, trying to figure out how the shapes formed by the coffee grounds would reveal more. I waited, desperate and anxious. He turned the cup around and without getting his eyes off it asked "M N L, do these three letters mean something special to you?" I tried hard to guess any possible meaning these letters might give, but I failed. He added "Run as if beasts are chasing you if you see these letters together. If not, you will find yourself left alone in a dry wind-swept land". My heart sank and my world seemed narrow and cruel. Should I always fight the demons alone? Is there no shelter from that fate? I felt overwhelmed by a huge dark wave where faces of my late father, mother and distant relatives appeared and vanished for no reason. Some faces seemed friendly and others looked sarcastic. The wave finally pushed me to the shore exhausted, fragile and full of holes.
I went out of the coffee reader's house to the dark empty street. The November cool wind welcomed me. I stopped a moment, adjusted the scarf around my neck, looked left and right and started to walk back home. Nothing felt of more worth then than going back home.
22 November 2010
18 November 2010
Talking, Traveling and Observing a Turtle
Two simple conversations in two consecutive days.
Friend 1: Couple X has a wonderful mansion in the U. S. I visited them there last year.
I: Really? I did not know they owned a house back there. I heard about their huge house here.
Friend 1: I saw it too. Unbelievably lavish.
I: This is the sort of life I like to lead!
Friend 1: But do you know that their only son is autistic?
I (compassionately): No. I did not know that. Goodness, all their life means nothing to me now.
The following day.
I: Do you know that couple X has a mansion in the States and a wonderful house here.
Friend 2: Wow. Nice.
I: But I have also just got to know that their child is autistic.
Friend 2 (instantly): They are fortunate. There are undoubtedly many poor couples who have autistic sons too.
........
I visited Yemen for the first time last week. A troubled country that became (again) under spotlight after the incidents of the trapped parcels.
Much is being said about Yemen. Terror, failed regime, internal conflicts that might lead to separation, amazing traditional architecture and the kind people. But what amazed me most was how qat/khat chewing, which is deeply rooted and completely accepted in the society, went beyond the definition of a habit to become a collective activity that involved gathering, socialization, current affairs' discussion and sometimes decision making.
It was somehow surrealist to see, starting from 3 or 4 PM, almost every male adult (and some teenagers) in the streets, shops, taxis having like a bubble in one side of his mouth because it was "the time". Women, according to what I have heard, were also active except that we could not see their swollen cheeks under the veil.
By the end of my short visit I felt what I saw crossed the amazing borders to the depressing ones.
........
I bought a turtle 2 weeks ago. I have never seen a turtle walking that fast. She never stops moving in the house the whole day. A stereotype- shattering turtle. I love her!
Friend 1: Couple X has a wonderful mansion in the U. S. I visited them there last year.
I: Really? I did not know they owned a house back there. I heard about their huge house here.
Friend 1: I saw it too. Unbelievably lavish.
I: This is the sort of life I like to lead!
Friend 1: But do you know that their only son is autistic?
I (compassionately): No. I did not know that. Goodness, all their life means nothing to me now.
The following day.
I: Do you know that couple X has a mansion in the States and a wonderful house here.
Friend 2: Wow. Nice.
I: But I have also just got to know that their child is autistic.
Friend 2 (instantly): They are fortunate. There are undoubtedly many poor couples who have autistic sons too.
........
I visited Yemen for the first time last week. A troubled country that became (again) under spotlight after the incidents of the trapped parcels.
Much is being said about Yemen. Terror, failed regime, internal conflicts that might lead to separation, amazing traditional architecture and the kind people. But what amazed me most was how qat/khat chewing, which is deeply rooted and completely accepted in the society, went beyond the definition of a habit to become a collective activity that involved gathering, socialization, current affairs' discussion and sometimes decision making.
It was somehow surrealist to see, starting from 3 or 4 PM, almost every male adult (and some teenagers) in the streets, shops, taxis having like a bubble in one side of his mouth because it was "the time". Women, according to what I have heard, were also active except that we could not see their swollen cheeks under the veil.
By the end of my short visit I felt what I saw crossed the amazing borders to the depressing ones.
........
I bought a turtle 2 weeks ago. I have never seen a turtle walking that fast. She never stops moving in the house the whole day. A stereotype- shattering turtle. I love her!
07 November 2010
Dream (October, 28 2010)
My sister, my late father and I were in a kitchen of some house. My sister was looking for a bottle of milk to pour some for her daughter and she finally found it in the fridge. The bottle was huge, brown and dusty. I warned her that the expiry date was in 2008, but she did not care, saying that the milk looked fine.
I left the kitchen dissatisfied when rain drops started to come down through the ceiling of the rooms in the house, taking off the colour of the painting of the walls. But when I opened a closed door, I found a dry, bright and untidy living room. I shouted at my sister and father to come stay with me. Only father came wearing his underwear (white t-shirt and white knee length boxer) and holding a newspaper in his hand. He entered the room and immediately lied on his back. I asked him: Papa, can I give you a hug? His face started to look lifeless and pale that I wondered if he was still alive. I repeated the question when I noticed his lips slowly moving and I could barely hear him saying: Yes son, you can. I hold his head in my hands and then his head turned to a skull. I screamed and waked up.
I left the kitchen dissatisfied when rain drops started to come down through the ceiling of the rooms in the house, taking off the colour of the painting of the walls. But when I opened a closed door, I found a dry, bright and untidy living room. I shouted at my sister and father to come stay with me. Only father came wearing his underwear (white t-shirt and white knee length boxer) and holding a newspaper in his hand. He entered the room and immediately lied on his back. I asked him: Papa, can I give you a hug? His face started to look lifeless and pale that I wondered if he was still alive. I repeated the question when I noticed his lips slowly moving and I could barely hear him saying: Yes son, you can. I hold his head in my hands and then his head turned to a skull. I screamed and waked up.
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