Knack of Existing

“I wanted the knack of existing. I did not know the rules”

These words were said by the main character in Jennifer Dawson's novel The Ha Ha.
I think it is about time to re-read this novel for maybe the fourth or fifth time. Every few years I do, and the novel never failed to have its effect on me or to lessen the compassion I feel for the main character. It s not the same sort of compassion I felt when I, in a tender age, read classics like "Tess" or "Resurrection". It is different. More conscious? Maybe.


Another re-reading I do these days, almost because it reminds me of the old days when I did the first reading, is Emile Zola's "Une page d'Amour". A Parisian bookstore in Boulevard St. Michel had its August knock-off prices taking old classics and used books out on the sidewalk for sale. I found the novel that I once stumbled on in my father's library and read long time ago. I did not know back then it was a part of series of novels.

It might not be the sort of novel I like to read these days anymore, but a classic is a classic ,never dies or loses its charm. I started to re-read it this week and I enjoy it now as I did in the past. Days in that past were simple and joyful. Or maybe this is how every “old days” are remembered.